After Action Report #1 - S1 - Retaking Vierville - Part 1

Welcome to Triple Point Blank Fire's first After Action Report (AAR)!

The game was a face-to-face one as part of Newbie November -- my mini-effort to evangelize the ASL hobby.

The opponent was "Prawnski", one of my fellow co-workers who is an avid gamer in the fields of Euros and console and PC games. Prawnski enjoys violent action and my description of ASL got him curious to try after work yesterday. This would be one of his first hardcore wargame experiences.

The choice of scenario was an easy one -- S1 Retaking Vierville from Starter Kit #1. It involves very few squads in the beginnings of the scenario but quickly over the course of five turns ramps up with multiple reinforcements showing up from both the American and German sides. There are no support weapons and no AFVs.

Here's a shot of the empty board (notice that it does not use the whole of map y):

And here's the entire OOB of both sides splayed out on the map:


The objective of the scenario was for the American paratroops to hold four key buildings in the centre of board "y" -- ostensibly the French town of Vierville (this is during the early days following D-Day). Here's a shot of the board using VASL (the comment is wrong, it's not ANY building but ALL of them):



I chose to take the Germans as they would do most of the early lifting early on and from my solo plays of this scenario, I felt that they had the hardest time of it. Going into the game I knew that the Americans could not be allowed to reinforce his initial squads in the village so I tasked the second line Germans coming in from the west with harrassment duties toward the north end of the map (it's the right side here):

We set-up the scenario with my trusty map condom and Plano-ed counters and I began the introduction to ASL with a brief overview of the counters and the geomorphic nature of the maps. I briefly outlined the sequence of play (use this!) and the scenario and the objectives and Prawnski set his squads up and we started! Here is the initial set-up in real life (sorry about the flash!):

Here's another view of the action from a lower perspective with victory hexes circled:



Here's the action at approximately turn 2 during the American's phase:

The first two turns went fairly slowly as I explained and ran through the Sequence of Play. Luckily I'm pretty good at explaining things and Prawnski is a quick study with his prior gaming experience. You'll note from the photo that I have a fairly strong stack in yK6 shooting at the half-squad across the street and a squad in yP6 probing into the centre victory hexes. Prawnski has split his initial squads to protect both sets of victory hexes thanks to the diversionary second-line German squad in yI2. Finally, check out the fun on the north (right) side of the board. The first set of reinforcements has taken the German squads with 7-0 leader in the farmhouse in yU3 a bit too seriously and run through the wheat fields trying to reinforce the village.

Prawnski's relative inexperience was pretty balanced by some of my atrocious rolling. On multiple occasions I had massive firepower arrayed against him and rolled eleven's. Nice. And no I'm not complaining -- I have long since made peace with the dice gods in all my games. Besides, if ASL is good for one thing, it's the fantastic stories that come out of these desparate and nutty situations. [As an aside: Prawnski liked to make the ominous Terminator music when he advanced squads... spooky!]

By the start of turn three we can see things starting to develop even more in Vierville. Here is a close-up of the action in the centre of the map (notice that in trying to run his half-squad away they were shot up):


As turn three commenced the action looked like this:


Again to explain what has happened, a German squad already controls a victory hex (yN6)with at least two other stacks waiting outside the village in stone farmhouses waiting to shoot up and delay reinforcements. Note the one eliminated squad off the board -- they ran into an ambush in CC and were bayonetted. Nasty!

By the late game, around turn 3-4, the situation had become even more grim for the Americans.

Though the reinforcements actually shot up the second-line squad in the north (who had a wounded leader and kept failing morale checks into casualty reduction), they couldn't get around the stack in yO10. They would rumble into the street and get half shot up and rout back into their little hut on the edge of the field only to try again for the same result later. It was rather amusing actually. I explained smoke exponents but Prawnski shrugged off the advice and felt that no elite airborne unit worth it's salt would need it...

Here's the situation at the start of the last turn:

I have advanced my German squads into a massive three stack defense of the centre victory hexes. I offered Prawnski a cessation to the hostilities but he respectfully declined and threw his men into a final, last-ditch effort. Not shown are some of the nasty point blank fires that occurred and the equally destructive close combats in the victory hexes -- if you're wondering where all his guys are... If Prawnski made one mistake, the typical newbie one, is that as an attacker he used way too much prep fire trying to dislodge my units. Having given up the initiative by losing the centre of Vierville I could wait for him to come to me.

And basically the game ended with a dominating German victory after about 2.5 hours. Did the Prawn enjoy himself? Immensely if he is to be believed. Another of the joys I find in gaming and ASL is the debriefing and end of game discussion about memorable moments and lost opportunities and head slapping as you find out the rules you messed up big time. Alas that is for part 2 when I'll reveal some lessons learned about ASL after S1 Retaking Vierville.

MMP Black Friday Sale

Firstly, Happy Turkey Day to our neighbours in the south! Secondly, MMP is having a Black Friday sale for ONE DAY ONLY on their website. Here's the link:

http://www.multimanpublishing.com/sale/blackfriday.php

There's Armies of Oblivion (ziplock only), Action Pack 3, and Beyond Valor -- the latter being a bit pricey at $105... though this might just be the first manifestation of their new price increases. Newbies who are interested in moving up to full ASL, the prices on the first two are ridiculous and the availability of BV right now is pretty compelling. GOGOGO!

[There's also a lot of other older non-ASL games for sale -- for myself, I picked up the awesome Standard Combat Series titles Stalingrad Pocket II, Afrika 2nd Ed., and The Mighty Endeavour.]

Starter Kit #1 BACK IN STOCK!!!

Well it's back in stock at MMP so buy your copy asap for Christmas! Here was the announcement on CSW. Here's the order page on MMP. US$24. GO!

Prep Fire! Getting Set Up Part 2

Player Aids

Last post I talked about the binders and counter storage solutions I had for my ASL Starter Kits. In this post I'll just finish off talking about other handy gear to have if you're going to be a "serious" ASLer... or at least a serious ASL-newbie.

If you have a single Starter Kit it's a good idea to check the errata on your particular version. SK1 errata is here, and (unofficial) SK2 errata is here, SK3 is here. Print these out asap and leave the printouts with your rulebook.

If you have multiple Starter Kits use the latest one and just print out the latest errata. For example, I have all three SKs and just use the rulebook from SK3 as it has the latest incorporated errata and all the rules from SK1 and 2.

Along with the rulebook you'll want to also keep the QRDC and To-Hit Player Aid Charts handy -- page protectors again. Of course there are amazingly useful non-official player aids out there and I'd recommend:

• A good Sequence of Play chart which breaks down the exact timing of the game turn elements. My personal favourite is the ASLSK3 SOP at BGG here. Just ignore the bits that do not apply if you are playing SK1 or SK2-only scenarios.

• The official QRDC not good enough? Try these QRDCs for the full ASL on Ole Bøe's website here. Desperation Morale also has a big set of player aids and "cheat" sheets here.

I keep all of this stuff organized by SK level with the most recent stuff I use repeatedly on top and stored in the SK1 box (the other boxes fit maps and other ASL stuff) so if I need to play I'll just grab the one box, counters and my map condom and go!

Map Protection/Storage

Everyone has their own preference in this regard, almost to the degree of fanaticism that counter storage ellicits. Some people prefer getting a piece of plexiglass or Lexan and getting it chamfered and cut to the size of their regular gaming table or space. I've been told that heading down to your local Home Depot or the like should be the most economical option -- just get them to cut you a piece to size.

My current means of map protection is a "map condom" of sorts. Here's what it looks like in action:



The map condom is basically a poster/art display sleeve that is of archival quality. I purchased it in an art supply store where they had differing sizes. Notice that I've put two geomorphic maps side by side here (the most common configuration) with dice for scale comparison. I also bought a larger one for my other wargame maps and when you need to place ASL maps lengthwise. I really prefer this method as the sleeve itself is very portable, relatively inexpensive and was made primarily to show off and protect art and maps. Some ASLers and wargamers use poster frames and these I found are cheap but best only for games where you won't be switching out the maps often.

What Else?

There are a couple of things I didn't talk about like dice rolling mechanisms, clipping and maintaining counters. These things become a concern when you get a little more "into" the hobby. You'll eventually find that rolling dice into your little cardboard piles gets a little tedious and the boxtop of your SK a little cumbersome -- check out dice towers or use a fancypants dice cup (it's a cup...). Later you might find your counters themselves are getting a bit ragged or catching each other on the corners as you push them around. Perhaps it's time for a "counter-clipper"?

Where do you find this stuff if you can't make it yourself? Check out Cabela's or Walmart for the tackle boxes. Home Depot or Lowe's for the plexiglass/Lexan. An art supply store for your map condoms and eBay for your dice towers. And finally, Staples/Business Depot for your umpteen page protectors and binders. Look at it this way, you're doing your part to stimulate our flagging global economy.

Web Links Updated Again

Wow two posts in one day! I didn't feel like doing part two of the Prep Fire post so I thought I'd work on updating the links on the gadget bar of the blog (that thing on the right!).

I'm going to try to categorize the links into "Learning" type links, "Blogging" & "General" links and a "Buying" set of links. I'll probably sub-divide a bit further later with Third Party Product links and expand the categories too. For now though I don't want to dilute the message and always want to keep the utter newb in mind when I expand stuff, i.e. assume the blog is approachable at all times for someone brand new to ASL.

Peace out!

Prep Fire! Getting Set Up Part 1

Alrighty, your ASLSKs just got plunked into your mailbox and you're ready to play. Hold up there partner! There are some things that you probably want and should do to help increase your enjoyment. (Read: time to spend more money!)

Firstly go through the contents of the box, there should be a small slip of paper that MMP uses as a manifest. Make sure everything is there. I've heard some people have missing items but I've heard even more that MMP and wargame companies like them have excellent customer service. Just give them a phone call or email explaining the problem and they'll rectify it quick -- just one of the advantages of the hobby that is so small.

Next, get out a hobby knife (XActo or whatever) and carefully run it along the die cuts in the counter sheets so they will detach easier. Some thought should be given to where to store these guys ranging from "throw them in the box" to "custom-made storage solutions". The most common method is Plano brand tackle-boxes. Model 3701 is the box of choice here as they are cheap (about $4-5 each), have a lot of space and spaces, stack, and generally are perfect for the anal retentive wargamer. You might want to sort by nationality and separate out the informational counters.

Now, go read the rulebook.

Back? Ok, so you're going to have to push counters around on a geomorphic mapboard while consulting a few charts, the rules themselves and a scenario sheet. How are you going to get organized? Well, after about a half-dozen solitaire scenarios through which I learned the rules I have a nice system all ready to show you:

Here it is all on the dining room table (mental note: must get wifey to OK purchase of new dedicated gaming table...).

Starting at 12 o'clock and going clockwise we have (1) informational counters in a small tackle box resting on top of a binder with richfam's ASLSK Tutorials all printed up insider, (2) the Plano boxes for the US and German orders of battle (OBs) from the Starter Kits only, (3) Starter Kit #3's rulebook as the latest and greatest SK ruleset, (4) the Quick Reference Display Chart from SK3 in a page protector, (5) miscellaneous player aids printed up from the Internet (like the ASLSK3 Sequence of Play chart from BGG), (6) the other SK rulebooks and charts for reference, (7) a binder with all the published and downloaded scenarios I own in page protectors, (8) and my recently acquired ASL Rulebook 2nd Edition, of course in its own binder and custom front cover art and page protected contents, (9) and finally, the map I'm playing on in its own little display sleeve/condom with some two-coloured dice in the middle. Let's go through these and you can decide what's worth doing and what's not for you.

The Binders

To be perfectly honest you probably don't need these things around. I generally keep the red scenario binder somewhere away from my toddlers and remove only the ones I want to use/play when I need to. The page protectors are a good piece of mind thing for the investment you've made into the game. With the three SKs you're already looking at around 25 scenarios plus any others you've been able to download from MMP.

With the green binder is the richfam stuff and any articles and learning examples etc. I find on the Internet printed beside my bed for a little getting-to-sleep reading. Other stuff I've shoved in there includes the full examples of play from Tom Repetti's personal site, Tuomoland, here. Check out the infantry-only example first if you're a newb and move from there. I treat it like my own little syllabus of learning for ASL.

The full ASL second edition Rulebook was basically an extravangance for me. You don't honestly need it at the Starter Kit level. But if you plan on getting to the full ruleset someday just keep a lookout for it -- better yet, get your FLGS to order you one and when it comes in use it as a sort of "super" rulebook or reference when you play SK scenarios. I've found it a lot less intimidating that way and especially fascinating when you see what we're missing "down here". And yep, it's in page protected glory. I don't keep this around when I play; it sits with the green one upstairs and the original RB binder holds the original Paratrooper training chapter K and sits on the shelf.

Storage

Storage is a fun topic of conversation amongst ASLers, as some of you who frequent GameSquad's forums are aware of. One man's storage is another man's signs of impending mental disease. Here's what I'm doing storage-wise. As you see above, I've divided the nationalities of the SK armies into their own Plano (model 3820 if I can remember right). So far that's been doable since the OBs for the SKs are much smaller than full ASL. The infantry and guns and AFVs all fit into one Plano. Key things to look for in your storage solutions: enough dividers and a rounded bottom so you can easily swipe counters out of their little cubbies. On the right are the Starter Kit Germans.

On the left are the informational counters. Again, these are easy to keep in a smaller than normal Plano because SK games don't use the full info counter set. These you want to keep very handy while playing with the very commonly used counters easily in reach, or better yet, stack a half-dozen or so next to the map for both players.

All closed up, the tackle boxes are quite easily stackable together on a shelf somewhere.

Once again I've written waaaay more than I wanted to be able to fit into one post (and Blogger is starting to have fits with all the pictures I've shoved in here) so I'll split this Getting Set Up post into two and finish the write up tomorrow.

2 Half-Squad Podcast Episode 12

The fellas at 2 Half-Squads have put together Episode 12 and they mention TPBF! Yay! But seriously, the episode has an awesome interview with Keith Dalton who is a part-timer with MMP.

It kind of goes together with the Chas Argent interview on the Point2Point podcast mentioned in the previous post I made to give a little bit of insight into the way MMP operates.

Like I said before I have had some thoughts brewing in my head about the seemingly frustrating and backwards decisions made by ASL's current torch-bearer. (Just for fun hang out at the ASL boards at Gamesquad.com and watch the sparks fly when this sore point comes up every once in a while.) I think that some of the difficulty newer players have with how MMP operates is the opaqueness of their production delays. As a modern-day consumer I think we're all used to businesses eagerly accepting our money but when faced with the reality of the wargaming hobby of out-of-print and/or out-of-stock items it boggles us. After hearing the Argent and Dalton interviews I'm much more forgiving of the difficulty in finding the SKs and Beyond Valor.

Back to the podcast, I really really like the idea of making November a "Newbie November" where we all try to introduce this ASL of ours to a new player. My job as a teacher and a coach for school teams really lets up in November so I'd been planning on getting my Eurogames/role-playing group along with my fellow work colleagues into some ASLSK scenarios with all my extra time. I've been chatting it up and sharing this blog with them so at least one or two are getting a bit of interest in doing so.

So the challenge is (for you half-dozen people who check out this blog and have the basics down) -- get ONE new person into the hobby this month. This might mean playing an SK scenario, finding SK#1 and giving it for Christmas, or whatever. Get one person into ASL! I'll reports my efforts in a later post.

Last thing, is there anything better than Jeff and Dave reading Woody Guthrie? LOL!

Recent ASL News & A Rant

Wow, you'd think the hobby was in a "Renaissance" mode or something.

Anyways, I was going to post this the other night but real life intervened and yesterday was Remembrance Day and it didn't feel appropriate. Here's the fun ASL news o' the moment:

• Multi-Man Publishing has announced that Action Pack 5 - East Front is now on pre-order and if history is anything to go by, it should make its pre-order fast and then be off to the printer and shipped in a few months or less. Not the biggest news for the newbie considering that the scenario pack and maps are not for us but remember that if you like ASL never pass up a chance to get in-print product!
  


• The gentlemen at 2 Half-Squads have released a few more bonus episodes one of which is a play-by-play commentary of an ASLSK Scenario S7 Prelude to Festung Brest (available for FREE at MMP). I haven't had a chance to check it out yet but the 2 Half-Squads have yet to disappoint.
  


• ASL hits myspace?! Desperation Morale's Mark Pitcavage has created a new myspace page dedicated to ASL in an effort to reach out to newbies and those curious about the game. Hats off to Mr. Pitcavage for his efforts! Check it out here!
  


• Speaking of podcasts, I've stumbled upon Point2Point which is a wargaming (in general) podcast. The most recent episode, #37, has an interview with MMP contractor Chas Argent (the coordinator for the aforementioned Action Pack 5!). In it Mr. Argent talks about some of the effort that goes into producing new ASL stuff and getting old stuff ready to print. It's quite informative and goes a long way in making me less crazy about how MMP does their business.

Rant Mode:

I've been brewing up a good rant in my head recently over the difficulty in getting the basic stuff required to simply play and enjoy ASL for newbies. Starter Kit #1 is still out of stock and so is the first full ASL module Beyond Valor. If this seems ludicrous to you you're not alone. (It seems to be a touchy subject over at Gamesquad's forums for example.) The obvious starting point in this whole argument is how MMP can hope to grow the hobby if the barrier to entry is this high...?

I think I got some of the answers from the Point2Point interview with Chas Argent. It's apparent that MMP is trying their best to come out with the best product possible and avoid the situation of issuing errata to hastily assembled and play-tested stuff. Given that the market is a niche one playtesters (and reliable ones at that) aren't lining up around the block with tons of time on their hands. It sounds to me like MMP is doing what they can to ensure the hobby is stable and not just pumping out stuff to "make money" -- I think we can all agree that ASL is not a massive moneymaker or something like that. In the interview Mr. Argent chatted about the sheer amount of work that simply goes into laying out the revamped modules, scenario sheets, and miscellany that goes into something like an Action Pack or Core Module. Art that no longer exists must somehow be reproduced and other difficult tasks seem daunting to a layman like me.

So....

I'm a little more willing to cut MMP some slack. (Who the hell am I to judge anyways?!) ASL is, to use a clichéd term, a labour of love. For example, Brian Youse and Perry Cocke, two of the principals at MMP still have day jobs! To those frustrated by this difficulty in getting product I say have a little bit more patience. In the meantime, do your part to get friends and others introduced to ASL with your own copy of ASLSKs and hopefully MMP will have this stuff out soon!

Postscript: FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER GOD YOU HOLD HOLY MMP, FIX THE MESSED UP SSL CERTIFICATE ON YOUR WEBSITE SO I DON'T FEEL DIRTY ORDERING STUFF FROM YOU FFS!!!

That is all.

UPDATE: MMP has fixed their SSL issue so we can all pre-order again! Now if only shipping to Canada didn't mysteriously go through frickin' Sweden first...

Remembrance Day

Seeing as this is a site dedicated to wargaming I think it's appropriate that we recognize that November 11th is Remembrance Day here in Canada. The day is meant to celebrate and honour the men and women who are in the armed forces both past and present. (Some countries call it Veterans' Day or celebrate on another day.)

For their sacrifices and efforts I'm quite thankful. Whether you wear a poppy, participate in a Remembrance Day ceremony at school or at work let's make sure we never forget.

Buying ASL for the Newbie

So you wanna get into the hobby or at least get a taste of the "greatest" tactical WWII game out there? The problem, of course, is that Advanced Squad Leader is a niche within a niche within a niche and you aren't likely to find the game conveniently sitting at your local convenience store.

If you are lucky, your Friendly Local Gaming Store (FLGS!) has a boardgaming section nestled between the Magic cards and the RPG/Dungeons and Dragons stuff. If you're even luckier the boardgaming section has some wargames in it. Of course the final piece of luck is that the store has ordered and has in stock ASL (probably Starter Kits) within that wargaming section. That's a lotta "ifs".

Let's assume that you want to start small first of all. MMP and the powers that be that control the ASL brand realized that an introductory product for those who wanted to play the game was the best way to proceed and a few years ago produced the ASL Starter Kits. The three kits were released a few years apart (I think, I wasn't active in ASL at the time) and today form the basis for quite a few new people joining the hobby -- like yours truly.

What the Starter Kits enabled was a neophyte to sample the core and basic ruleset for a fraction of the price of buying into full ASL. A Starter Kit runs from about $25 to $35 (Kits 1 to 3) which is a pittance compared to the outlay for the full Second Edition ASL Rulebook (new!) and the first module Beyond Valor (that contains the system/informational counters, and the almost full orders of battle for the Russians and Germans) -- these two cost about $65 and $95 respectively. The Starter Kits' contents are all compatible with full ASL so the investment is practically a no-brainer.

If you are interested in ASL GET THE STARTER KITS!

The subset of rules in the kits reputably contains the vast majority of the rules you'll need most of the time in full ASL. Some have even remarked that this subset of SK rules is a full-fledged game system unto itself and I'm not inclined to disagree with them. For those who want a more thorough breakdown of the SK contents I point you to Desperation Morale's World of ASL page on the kits and to MMP itself.

I would only advise a new player to pick up full ASL in lieu of the Starter Kits if, and only if, they were very sure they'd be playing it full on with an experienced player.

Of course if it was this easy I don't think I'd be making a post about it...

The problem is that MMP's Starter Kit #1 is no longer widely available, even through online resellers. Your best bet these days are FLGS websites or the stores themselves or ASL on eBay. For those not well versed in the advanced search on eBay try this link.

["Wait a second scrub," you say, "how can MMP possibly not have Starter Kit #1 in stock?!" -- ah, that's a rant for another time my friend...]

Due to the fact that the production lead times and various other logistical issues are compounded with the relatively small print runs that MMP uses to keep ASL in print and in stock, it has basically become an unspoken rule amongst ASL players that you should ALWAYS buy ASL stuff while you can because the next window of opportunity to acquire that product without facing the exorbitant mark-ups on eBay may be YEARS away. Let's put it this way, though I have yet to pick up full ASL, I am still buying the Valor of the Guards Historical module and the Normandy Action Pack in the full expectation that by the time I want to sit down and play them in the next year or so I may be SOL due to their being OOS!

Time for some good news though. You really only need one of the Starter Kits. All of them are basically standalone. If you could only pick up one I'd choose #3 since that has the full Starter Kit ruleset for infantry, guns, and armoured fighting vehicles. However, completists and anal ones at that, like me, will want all three for the maps and counters and scenarios.

So where can you get this stuff?

If you aren't willing to wait for MMP to reprint and restock, Starter Kit #1 is basically eBay-only or other after-market territory like Boardgamegeek's Marketplace forum or Consimworld's or Gamesquad's. As long as you're patient you should be able to get it for a reasonable, near-retail price.

Starter Kit #2 and #3 are all still available from MMP itself or online resellers like Wargame Depot or Gamer's Armory. I have purchased ASL and non-ASL stuff from both of these sites and can vouch for their speedy and reliable service. Being Canadian I've had the Sentry Box recommended to me and may try it next to get around the silly customs I've had to occasionally pay.

The only other newbie purchase of ASL-related product I would recommend (I'm saving chatting about counter storage and gaming paraphenalia for the next post) is picking up Operations magazines from MMP that have ASLSK scenarios in them (around $8 a pop for single scenarios -- I recommend this only if you are dying for more official SK-level product or are a wargamer with other MMP/Gamers product). Here is a link to the almost complete list of official ASLSK scenarios and where to find them on BGG.

Finally there is also a little scenario pack called Rally Point #2 by Schwerpunkt -- a so-called "Third Party Publisher" (TPP). Here is the Desperation Morale write-up on it and the here is the website for the Schwerpunkt guys. I actually picked this scenario pack up because of the reputation of the Schwerpunkt group who publish a yearly eponymously-named scenario pack. I'm itching to try it out soon by mixing them in with the official scenarios. Rally Point #2 is the pack you'd want as it is not only made for ASLSK but upwards-compatible to full ASL should you graduate there one day.

Whew, another massive post! So here's the summary:

1. Check out Desperation Morale's World of ASL pages to see what is what. This is the "get edumacated" step.
2. Check MMP to see what they have in stock. Cross your fingers.
3. Order from MMP or a reputable online retailer or support your FLGS by ordering through them!
4. Post "wanted-to-buy" messages on forums like Gamesquad, BGG or Consimworld. Sometimes fellow gamers have good quality product they'd happily sell at great prices to their peers to grow the hobby.
5. Check eBay (use the linky on the upper right). Cross your toes.

Hope this helps you out. As for paying off your credit card, that's your problem!

Next up, what to buy/find/steal to help you maximize your enjoyment of ASL...

New 2 Half Squads!

It's been out for a week but I thought I'd plug it. The eleventh episode of the ASL podcast by the 2 Half-Squads is out and it is definitely the best thus far. New audio equipment has made it the most technically "sound" - NPI. And the guest is Dave Goldman who runs the ASL Open tournament. It's a fascinating interview. (The joke intro is hilarious too!)

Go get it!